Loneliness

It’s loneliness: being disconnected from your own mind

It’s loneliness: a pale faced anemic space of skin losing blush of life

It’s loneliness: of leaves carpeting my dark walks on legs reaching out step by step into the vast opportunities of terrifying tomorrow

It’s loneliness: of children growing up and falling from the nest over and again to give space to the heart for baby birds to sing their sweetest songs

It’s loneliness: of holy tongue hearing no response to wailing calls

It’s loneliness: tied to the wheel of perpetual aging, death, rebirth and life, aging, death, rebirth and life again

It’s loneliness: the burden of empty eyes that have lost their use of sight

It’s loneliness: of losing touch with your mind and concocting mad delusions to shake us from our sleep.

It’s loneliness: waking up in psych hospital bed alone with only guilt and shame

It’s loneliness: just “surviving” winter year after year

It’s loneliness: knowing he who increases knowledge increases sorrow

It’s loneliness: sleeping in separate beds and dreaming different dreams

It’s loneliness: abandoning all hope

It’s loneliness: forgetting one’s self in a sea of forever others

It’s loneliness: to learn how to let go and even harder to heal

It’s loneliness: to admit that I am cracked and my yolk has bound me to my labor

It’s loneliness: when I just can not get myself to call my mother from psych hospital out of concern for her wellbeing

It’s loneliness: having a good cry bound in the heart forever

It’s loneliness: to think that we are mad and that they are the definition of sanity

It’s loneliness to bring home souvenirs of t-shirts with PSYCH HOSPITAL written across the chest

It’s loneliness: of decomposing bodies awaiting the rapture

It’s loneliness: entertaining demons by mythologizing psychosis

It’s loneliness: of borderline mother with baby at breast of sour milk

It’s loneliness: at 3 a.m. with only breath


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